Finally Finding Me - Just a girl, on a journey to find herself

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I always considered myself a happy person. Trying to always see the good side of situations and people, I prided myself on having a great life and everything figured out.

Almost out of nowhere, things changed. Over the course of a few months, I experienced a broken engagement, severe illness, heartbreak, a flooded house, and a beloved dog that was diagnosed with cancer.

I thought that I had reached my breaking point… And, that’s when I received the call. The one that completely changed the trajectory of my life. The one who’s words echo in my ears as though they were spoken to me just yesterday.

“Your dad just died…”

My friend, my mentor, my wonderful father unexpectedly left this world. And, I didn’t even get to say good-bye. I felt as though my heart stopped, then realizing that it hadn’t, wished desperately that it would.

I hit rock bottom. Getting out of bed each morning seemed to take the strength of an entire army. I was pulled down into a hole of depression that was so deep, I no longer could (nor wanted) to see the light from above. The gravity of depression consumed me, and crying until beyond the point of exhaustion was the only way that I could find escape via sleep.

Months later, I passed by my hallway mirror. I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. The dark, blood-shot eyes, and a swollen tear-streaked face, and matted-down hair were the least of my concerns. I looked as though I lost hope. And, I had. Hope in ever feeling happy again.

Right there, standing weak-kneed, looking at myself in the eye, I decided that staying in this broken state was far more dangerous than summoning the courage to make a drastic change. My father would have been so disappointed to see me wither away to nothing.

I decided that I was going to start a journey.

A journey to find happiness again.

A journey that requires me to go far beyond my comfort zone, and stretch far beyond my limits.

A journey to help others find happiness, so that I might one day find it myself.

A quitting-my-well-paid-job-selling-my-home-packing-my-bags-and-traveling-the-world sort of journey.

Scared beyond belief, but knowing in my heart that this is what I am meant to do, I’m packing my passport, sunscreen, a cute pair of shoes, and heading out the door into the great unknown.

This is my story…

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